General Josephine enters the board room with a limp, soaking wet, covered in scrapes, scratches, and bruises (most easily seen on his face), and breathing really hard. The group all look at him.
General Josephine: I know I don’t look the most professional, but that’s just because I spilled some chicken on my coat. Right here, see?
Aaron sets up a laptop, as General Josephine walks to his seat. He has to stop for a moment. The President motions to one of the secret servicemen, who helps Josephine to his seat.
General Josephine: Thank you son, what’s your name?
Secret Serviceman is about to answer, when Colonel Myers shouts some more.
Colonel Myers: Enough with the bravado, Josephine. Why are we here?
General Josephine: Right, let’s get down to brass tacks. Top brass tacks.
Nobody laughs but Aaron and the president.
General Josephine: Just a little military humor.
Senator Hubert: Hardly.
General Josephine: Yeah, well our Commander In Chief liked it, so . . .
General Josephine: Yes! I called for this committee to decide the inception of a new department. The Department of Abnormal Response, Defense, and Research. DARDAR.
Some board members scoff at the name.
General Josephine: You can laugh if you want, but a marketing guy told me that DARDAR is easier to remember than DADRAR, so I’m sticking to it. DARDAR would be focused on the protection of the American public by gifted citizens.
Colonel Myers: What citizens? The vigilantes?
General Josephine: Of course not the vigilantes. That’s part of what this department would help to stop. The newly politically correct media are focusing white on black violence rather than ignoring it. Telling the truth is a good thing, but what many viewers are now accusing the police departments of is violent racism. There is a myth that the government doesn’t care about the little guy. This myth very well may be true, I’m not here to debate its authenticity. I’m here to propose a campaign within my department to turn the members of its strike force into social media icons. People that can not just boast to be American heroes, but to prove it on the grandest scale. We would work in tandem with all emergency services, we would provide them with what they need to fight off abnormal threats, and we would take great care to save the lives of normal police officers to reserve their roles to that of normal police officers. If a dragon attacks, you want a dragon slayer to fight it, not the soldiers trained to fight other soldiers, no matter how good they may be at it. That’s the idea.
President: Well spoken, Emmanuel.
General Josephine: Thanks, Prez.
Senator Hubert: Who do you propose take up the mantle as heroes?
General Josephine: As senior chairman of the Rushmore Abnormal Containment Unit, and co-director of The United States Abnormal Surveillance Agency, I have had a good look at a variety of abnormal specimens.
President: Specimens? What kind?
General Josephine: That’s the fun part. The kind that makes you question the real.
Colonel Myers: We have them locked up for a reason.
General Josephine: Yes, to experiment on them. To weaponize them. But any zoologist can tell you that a caged bird will not exhibit natural behaviors. Mr. President, by allowing these abnormals to operate in public, and test the limits of their abilities, we will make discoveries far quicker and more significant than any we would make with them locked up in prison for the crime of being unique. They have the capability to help. Some of them want to help. And the longer we keep them in chains, the more they will detest us for it. And I don’t think we want them to be against us.
President: Okay. Let’s do it.
Everyone disagrees and yells. Aaron applauds.
General Josephine: One last thing, Mr. President. Before we make this public, we need to urge other countries to do the same thing. If they have abnormals, they need to do what we are doing. Otherwise, these people will become living deterrents. We’ll have a Cold World War on our hands. And I suggest a United Nations division to oversee the allocation of abnormal resources. We can’t do this without solidarity.
Senator Hubert: I think this is a terrible idea.
President: I don’t give a shit what you think, Angela. We have nothing better to do with these abnormals than to use them for something. And our research into their abilities have equaled fuck all. So let’s put their powers to use. Let’s save some lives. Get the United Nations on the phone, and tell them we need to hold a private meeting. Committee adjourned.
Everyone shuffles out. General Josephine passes the President, and whispers.
General Josephine: White people, right?